Simply For
by ShoZettaSlow
Summary: First part is yuri. The rest is yaoi. It’s not a sex story though, the fact that there’s sex in it is purely coincidental. It’s more of a love story… a love story with lots of sex. There aren't really 'main characters' in this but I put Xion and Namine.
1. Chapter 1

This part of the story is yuri, which means women having sex. The rest is yaoi, which is men having sex. It's not a sex story though, the fact that there's sex in it is purely coincidental. It's more of a love story… a love story with lots of sex. 

The nice thing about Xion is since she hasn't been introduced yet I can make her into whatever I want. So in this she's dark, I like dark characters. I don't like Xion though, she seems like she was just thrown in there so they could have a major female character that actually did something. I changed Namine a little too, she creeped me out before. 

It's another experimental thing, I've never done yuri and I'm trying out different styles of writing.

Xion 

**Doomsday**

It's snowing in May, is that a bad omen? After a cold, rainy Memorial Day weekend we get snow. I really hate the cold, no tolerance I suppose. I'm not as bad as Axel I suppose.

I really hate churches, religion makes me uncomfortable. Zexion hates them too, he's just better at hiding it.

Flowers are everywhere. A picture of Marluxia smiles at everyone, he had pink hair, which makes me wish even more that I'd known him. People around us are crying, I try to but it's impossible. It's a talent I've never had.

After a while his brother gets up to speak, his hair is a normal brown. He talks about their past, Christmases, birthdays and so on. Happiness and innocence. I don't cry but inside I panic, like I always do when I think about Zexion dying, then I mentally kick myself for relying on him.

I see my uncle, Xigbar, crying his eyes out. It's not like those movie cries you see where they look all serious, his face is screwed up, there's nothing graceful about it, he's lost all self control. I think I'm going to cry then, but I don't.

After the service we're dragged to dinner at my aunt's house. It's crowded and my brother looks pained, probably from the mixture of scents. His freakish sense of smell is fun sometimes but he can't stand crowds. Everyone's talking, laughing and crying; I carefully excuse myself and go outside to escape from it. There's a group of kids outside, probably his friends, they were standing around a blue-haired guy with an x-shaped scar on his face. The scar looked new so I assumed he'd been in the accident too. He was forcing a smile as they all stared, his eyes wandering to meet the orange glow of a silver-haired man under a tree, who was looking down at a blond girl with an expression of disgust. The girl looked mockingly into his face, a smirk plastered on her face.

She was in pain, I could feel it. The strongest feeling I'd had in a while. I hate feeling for other people; whether I have ESP or I learned it out of necessity. I wouldn't mind but I always manage to feel the emotions I sense, it pisses me off because I'm never sure if I really feel my own feelings or if I'm just 'picking up a reading'. So I have to walk over and lead her away by the hand. She's probably the one that was driving the car so people are pissed at her. She didn't resist, just followed me until we were out of sight. Once we'd escaped she spoke.

"What the hell?"

I shrugged. "I'm bored and I don't know anyone here."

She smiled sweetly, a smile dripping with venom. "My name's Larxene."

"Xion."

"You didn't think it was a bit weird to just pull me away like that?"

"You don't seem that surprised."

"Nothing surprises me anymore." She grabs my hand and pulls me away. "We're going to my house; my parents are here so it shouldn't be a problem."

I don't question it, I'm bored, after all, and I don't feel like spending all day with superchristians.

--

I wasn't sure what she was planning to do exactly, but I wasn't worried. I probably should've been worried about some random girl dragging me to her empty house but to be honest I don't worry about anything.

So we spent the rest of the day there, just hanging around playing video games and stuff. She told me about her school, Oblivion, which was a great name for a Catholic school. She said that half the students and some of the teachers were either gay or bi. We talked about what she called the 'straight agenda' and all the people we knew that went against it. For love, sex, or just for the hell of it.

Most importantly, she tells me about Marluxia, which was good because I felt guilty for never having met him.

"He was my best friend." She says with a smile "He loved flowers, himself, and a new guy each month."

After a while her parents arrived, they didn't ask who I was or anything, they didn't even say anything, just looked at her then walked away. She plastered on that mocking smile and called after them but they didn't turn around. I don't think she cared, because she turns back to me.

"Anyway, so there was this guy that Marluxia dated for about a month. He was pretty cool. It was weird 'cause he was married but his wife didn't know and we ended up hanging out with his kids a lot so they didn't say anything."

How can this girl just keep talking? Unless she's like me, which would be weird.

"Xion? Shit, you're thinking about them aren't you?"

I nod.

"Look it's not a big deal, they ignore me a lot 'cause they liked my sister. Then she got hit by a car and died so they don't know what to do."

"Where you close?"

She shrugged. "Closer than most people would expect. We were really different but we still hung out a lot and everything. She got run over by some drunk guy a few years ago."

Drunk?

"Everyone was being all sensitive that night because it was the day she died. It sort of pissed me off so Marluxia took me and Saïx to this party at some chick's house. He knows what to do when I'm down."

Wait…

"So we all got drunk and I decided to drive, in honor of Rikku."

So does that mean she's…?

"Then we crashed and Saïx got a scar and Marly died. But I'm okay for some reason." She was laughing hysterically now. "Why the hell am I alive anyway? I'm surprised I didn't die too."

I have no idea how to comfort people so I just hugged her, well more like pounced her, but that was an accident.

There's a look in her eyes, pain and desperation and guilt clouded over by lust. She's pleading with me. I have to give in. Because I'd do the same if I had the strength to let my guard down.

She's vicious the first time, biting and scratching. I'm just lying there, loving the pain. I can feel her tears on my thighs as her tongue releases her anger. Then she's murmuring apologies and kissing my neck, my collarbone, my face, our lips never meeting.


	2. Chapter 2

I'm watching Loveless. Underage Shounen Ai + Cat ears and tails = super-special-awesomely kawaii.

My parents decided to stay for the week, which was fine because it's just spring break anyway, too commercialized and still cold. So I ended up sneaking out to Larxene's house every night, we'd have sex then lie together. I'd watch her face, so much calmer.

I feel no love for her, no pity, just a desire for salvation. She knows it too, in her tempest of emotions. What she calls love is just guilt and sadness and the promise of freedom, of escape, of redemption. I know, even now, even when we're far away and I'm fucking some girl I barely know, that I can only love one person, I only want to love one person. Every night when I fall asleep, the name on my lips is still 'Namine.'

--

It's my last night in Twilight Town. Larx takes me out to an island on a little lake. I didn't even know there was a lake here; it's too big to be a pond though. We end up fucking then we go back, she sleeps, I think.

--

When we get home the first thing I do is dump my bag on the floor. I dig through the pile until I find my DS, then I flip it open, grinning like a maniac. Inside I find a little piece of paper and my first thought is that Zexion used up the batteries and left a note about it or something but I don't think he'd do that, besides it's folded so I'm pretty sure it's more than that.

_Hi Xi!_

_Anyway I should come out and say it. I'm probably dead by now. Don't look so surprised and don't you __dare__ blame yourself. To be honest I was planning this for a while, after my sister died I was just like "Fuck it." Then my parents stopped talking to me and to each other. When my 16__th__ birthday came around they just threw some car keys in my face, did I tell you that?_

_Anyway Marluxia was really my only friend after that, I got kind of anti-social and bitchy but he saw through it. After he died everyone stopped talking to me. It was like I was cut off from the world, which wasn't that bad because nothing was real; it was like I was watching a movie._

_When you showed up I existed for a week. It was nice, you showed me the lighter side of reality and I didn't feel like going back. It's like now I'm ready to die because you made it so I can forgive myself._

_Thanks, and you know I love you. Larx_

When I realized what the note was I had all these random flashes of stealing a motorcycle or something and rushing off to save her. It'd probably be too late though. I only knew her for a week so it shouldn't really be a big deal. Still I knew her, I fucked her, and now she's saying it's because of me. Maybe it's better that she hung onto the 'love' thing until the end.


	3. Chapter 3

It's the AkuRoku part! Yaaay! Another semi-depressing dark humor thing. 

My brother raised me on a very simple philosophy: if you want it, take it. It was the only way we could survive. Living with the father-person we needed as many distractions as we could get and the only ones we had were stealing and fucking.

He lived at home through college, he was looking out for me but I was too selfish to notice until one night when he woke me up and said we were leaving. I was tired as hell so he had to carry me to the car; I'm not sure how he manages to do that. I guess I fell asleep as soon as he started driving because the next thing I saw when I looked out the window was the sun rising over a mountain.

"That's your new life starting."

"Reno?"

"That'd be me, yo."

"Where are we?"

"I dunno, must be in Montana by now."

"Montana?!"

"Yup, Mom said she wanted to see snow."

"What about the father-person?"

"Fuck him!" He said it so viciously that I shut my mouth instantly; he tweaked a spike of my hair and said "You new name's Axel Turk by the way."

"Why?"

"In case the Old Man comes looking for us. I don't think he'd take the time to check everyone named Axel but going by Sawaruhi probably wouldn't be hard."

"You put a lot of thought into this huh?"

"Yeah, after what happened to Mom I knew I had to get you away from there. That's the only reason I bothered with college. Anyway I already got a job up there, gonna be a health teacher."

"That's a scary thought, you teaching highschoolers how to fuck."

"It's not like I'm fucking them. Teenagers are horny little shits that think with their hormones, the least I can do is make sure they don't have any fucked up kids."

"What am I then?"

"You're like me, just looking for entertainment."

"That works."

Silence.

"Did you go to school as Reno Turk?"

"Yeah."

"Did you hack yourself into some sites so your identity seems valid?"

"A few."

"Did you make sure to leave our old data up so dad wouldn't make a connection?"

"Yes. He wouldn't make a connection anyway. You got you schemeyness from mom's side."

"We got everything good from mom's side."

We were quiet for a while. I thought about it and realized that I wouldn't miss my friends. It was sad, knowing that no one meant enough to me to make a difference, but it was better that way, really.

--

After trading in his car for a bike and some money Reno found us a motel room that didn't have stains everywhere, not visible ones anyway and we stayed the night before leaving again. The only things I could bring from the car besides clothes were my DS and PSP, both of which were stolen. I felt like one of those biker chicks (because I was riding bitch) doing some cross country trip to nowhere. Nowhere _was_ where we were going, some little place called Destiny, which was funny considering the situation. I'm not sure how long the trip took because I sometimes fell asleep on the road. It was a few days, maybe a week, who knows?

When we got to Destiny it was still July so I know it didn't take too long, I ended up lifeguarding because Reno couldn't start working yet. It was nice, I didn't have to talk to anyone, just sit around on a chair and watch people, no one drowned and it was pretty boring. Reno got to stay home and fix up the house, not that there was much to do since we didn't have anything to unpack. We got a TV and some sheets and stuff but didn't bother with much else before Reno started working.

When I got home from work one day I complained but he just said. "We're Japanese, that's the only good thing the Old Man's ever given us. You can sleep fine on the floor, we've done it before."It made no sense but it still convinced me to shut up.

The house was too big for just us and I tended to wander around. I found a room with writing on the wall, just some depressing one-liners. I started spending most of the day in that room, sometimes I slept there, sometimes I'd write little journal entries on scrap paper and burn it with stolen matches, sometimes I just lit the matches and watched them burn until they reached my fingers. The only light I had in my life… That's not as depressing as it sounds.

--

One day I was in a corner reading the wall when a little blond kid came in through the window, seriously he just opened the window and crawled in. He sat down in the middle of the room, took out a DS and started attacking it with the stiles. I walked behind him and looked over his shoulder; he still didn't notice me so after a while I asked "What are you playing?"

_That_ made him notice, he jumped up and into this weird fighting crouch.

"What're you doing here?!" He sounded freaked out and I felt bad, it was pretty cute when he was scared though.

"Living. We just moved in here a few days ago. My name's Axel, got it memorized?"

He blushed a little, which made him look even cuter. "Shit, I'm sorry. I'm Roxas. Uh… I come here sometimes to be alone when…" He trailed off. I didn't press him, I knew better.

"It's fine, you're just cute enough that you can get away with it."

He pouted at me for a while before tackling me to the ground. Yeah that's not weird at all; getting tackled by someone you just met, not that I'm complaining. "Am I still cute?"

"Actually from this angle you're adorable."

He got off and pretended to cry against the wall. When he was done he said. "I should probably get back before they send my brother out to find me."

"Yeah, I should probably go make dinner."

"I'll probably be back."

"I'm probably here all day."

He brightened at this and climbed out the window.

I thought about him over dinner. Mostly the whole tackling thing, but I guess me calling him cute was just as weird.

--

Roxas started coming to the room every day, always climbing in through the window. He spent the night a few times, saying his mom would be okay with it as long as she knew where he was. One day my brother happened to walk by. When he saw Roxas he started asking questions.

"Who's this?"

"Roxas. He lives next door."

"You fucking?" Roxas turned red at this.

"Nope."

"Alright, yo. Don't piss on the floor." He turned to leave, calling over his shoulder. "And practice safe sex. I know, I'm a health teacher."

Roxas gave me a questioning look.

"My brother, Reno. He's gonna start teaching this year."

"That'll be fun."

"Yeah, I'm glad I already took it."

"Lucky bastard."

--

The days all blurred together, it was hard to remember when Roxas was always with me. School was getting closer and Roxas decided to start preparing me for it. He talked about his friends and what his cousin had told him about teachers. It started getting cold and I realized that I didn't want to go to school, I wanted the summer to stay and I wanted to keep Roxas to myself. I'd get mad at myself when I realized I'd been thinking about it for hours. I got stupid little notions when he was sleeping next to me of wrapping my arms around him and holding him all night. It really drove me crazy; sometimes I blamed him for it, not that I ever told him or anything.

Somehow my brother's philosophy stopped working. I went through life taking whatever I wanted without a thought. It's how I live, the only way I can. But the thing I want more than anything is right in front of me and I'm frozen in place; I can't lose him and because of that I'll never have him.

The father-person thing is from Cowboy Bebop. I put it in there because I wanted to make it clear who he was and that Axel never really thought of him as a father. 

'Sawaru' means touch and 'hi' means fire (in Japanese). Hi was too short for a last name and people might read it as the English word and think 'WTF?'


	4. Chapter 4

The first Soriku I've done that's actually about the pairing. It was hard to write from Sora's POV because I was trying to make it depressing while maintaining his constant state of hyper-happy. The lemon was hard too because in this he still has a semi-innocent mind. Come on, _me_ being innocent?

Featuring: Nymphomania! Desperation! And… CANDY!

Morning. No, not morning, it's almost midnight and Riku's bed's still damp. I don't know where Riku is, probably at the store or something. You'd think he would've woke me up but it doesn't really matter. Or maybe he did wake me up and I forgot. That's probably what he'll say anyway.

After a while Riku shows up, smoking a cigarette and smirking because he knows I hate it. He shoves a Twix bar in my mouth and leaves. No explanation, he doesn't even say 'hi'. So I'm left in his bed that's still damp and I'm still naked, then I feel like a slut because I'm naked and his bed's damp and I don't even care because I'm used to it. I don't mind feeling like a slut though, I mean if I am one then that's what I am so what's the big deal?

When I'm done with the candy that Riku got me I get dressed and walk out to the TV room. His mom isn't there so I guess home yet, which is good because it's always awkward when she's home. It's not that she has a problem with us; actually she supports it and it's really awkward.

Riku's sitting on the couch playing some shooter; he doesn't react when I sit next to him, not even when I wrap my arms around his neck. I almost wish he'd push me off or move away, at least act like I exist but he doesn't. He_ did_ get me candy though. I stay wrapped around him until he starts to get up; he picks me up like a princess and carries me to his room.

All the work I put into getting dressed is wasted in a few minutes because Riku's so good with his hands. I feel good because now his eyes are on me again, seeing them focused on mine is enough to drive me crazy and I'm moaning for him the minute his fingers touch my skin. By the time his mouth reaches my ear I'm almost screaming.

"Sora." He says it in a groan. I'm glad I can still do that to him. I can make him look at me and want to look at me. Knowing I'm still something to him is almost as good as coming, when he's all gentle and he loves me. He doesn't prepare me; we just did it a few hours ago so I don't really need it. When he's finally done teasing he pushes slowly in, he's groaning again, I can barely hear it because I'm so damn loud. He says he likes it though, and I can tell he does. He starts moving, still slow and gentle, and he's talking to me the whole time.

"I love you. I love you. I love you."

I can see his eyes, they're shining in the dark, people say it happens when you OD on mako but I know he wouldn't do that. He's smiling and looking at me and he can't stop saying it.

"I love you. I love you. I love you."

Just that's enough to drive me crazy, his hands on me and his eyes locked on mine while he's moving inside me. He starts stroking me and I lose control. I almost wish he would just hold still so I could keep it here, keep his eyes locked on mine, but I'm still begging for more. It wasn't much longer before I hit my climax, screaming and squirming. He kept going for a few minutes before I feel that familiar heat inside. He buries his face in my neck and I can feel his breath, warm and wet.

Eventually he moves off to lie next to me, one arm around my waist and the other petting my hair. I hope he'll stay this time, I love waking up next to him.

--

I wake up to the sound of the phone ringing, I notice Riku's already showered and dressed so I guess he didn't stay. He picks it up then glares at me after talking a little. He walks over, his hand covering the receiver.

"Did you tell Kairi you'd be here?"

"No I just told everyone I'd be away all break."

I know he doesn't believe me. I'm not sure why. I mean why would I tell Kairi? I was going to see her pretty much all the time when we got back to school. But he doesn't think of that, just rolls his eyes and thrusts the phone in my face.

"Hello?"

"Sora?"

"Hi Kairi!" I have to sound cheerful or she'll feel bad… I think.

"I thought you'd be away all week."

"Yeah… turns out my mom has to go take care of my grandma so I'm staying at Riku's." I'm surprised I came up with that, I'm not usually good at lying.

She giggled. "Having fun over there?" I can hear the suggestion in her voice but she doesn't know that Riku and I have sex.

"Yeah, we've just been playing video games and stuff."

"Oh." She's relieved, why's she relieved? "When are you coming home?"

"I don't know. Break's almost over anyway."

Riku comes back in, grabbing the phone. "Kairi, he'll see you in school, alright?" He hangs up before she has a chance to say anything and turns to me. "What did you talk about?"

"Not much, just my being here and stuff."

"You still like Kairi don't you?"

"She's my _friend_ Riku. That's all."

"Look, it's okay if you do like Kairi, I mean you liked her for a long time when we were kids."

"That was when we were _kids_, I moved on."

"It's not that easy."

"Do you still like her?"

"Of course not! I'm _gay_!"

"And I'm not?!"

"Look, I'll understand if you still like her. I just don't like you lying about it."

I can't take it anymore. He's messing with me again; he knows I hate that, when he treats me like a little kid. So before I know what I'm doing my fist is in his face. Because he does this whenever either of us talks to Kairi. Then he shoves me down and straddles me, one hand loosely around my neck.

"You didn't need to do that. Use words."

"I don't like Kairi. She's my friend, and I care about her. You're the most important one, Riku."

He slaps me. "You're still lying!" He shuts his eyes tight. I think he's crying, I'm crying too because it's the first real hitting fight we've had since we were kids, then I'm crying more because we promised Ven that we'd always smile but I'm not and Roxas doesn't much anymore. Not anymore.


	5. Chapter 5

This is the Cloud part. It involves Cloud. Cloud is in it. 

Cloud has sex with men in this. Go Cloud!

Warning: Genesis is now a woman. He'd make a pretty girl, which is a slightly disturbing thought.

My mom called up the stairs, she didn't have to though, I'd already heard the motorcycle pulling into my driveway. I figured it'd be suspicious if I came tearing out the door the moment I heard him.

I'm still surprised that my mom likes my friends, it's not that they act badly around her, but they're all way older than me and Zack insists on picking me up on his bike now that he has a license.

After messing up my hair I walked slowly out the door, Zack was leaning against his bike with his arms crossed. I could see him clearly in the moonlight.

"God Cloud what took you so long?"

"I was looking for a shirt."

"Well Aerith and Tifa are waiting." I'd never met Aerith and I was looking forward to it.

"They could've come if you'd just taken a car."

"Blasphemy! Don't say that in front of Fenrir!"

"You named it now?"

"Yup."

I didn't say anything, just got on and wrapped my arms around him. I love riding like that, even though I know it doesn't mean anything. Damn Zack and his sexiness. That's the problem, though; it's not all about sex. Zack's the nicest guy ever, he's an airhead but in that sweet way that isn't annoying. It would be nice if it was just sexual though, then I could ignore it, but that would be too much to ask. I'm all out in love with my best friend.

After a while he stopped by a huge pond.

"Why are we stopping?" I asked.

He smiled. "I'm going to rape you."

"No seriously."

"Well that was a half-truth."

"Zack what're you doing?" I wasn't sure why I asked that, I knew, his lips were pressed against my neck, not that hard to figure out.

He laughed quietly. "What's it feel like?"

"Why?" I knew the answer to that too.

" 'Cause I can. You're not putting up much resistance anyway."

That was true; I was just sitting there not doing anything. "What about Aerith?"

He lifted his head to look in my eyes "I still care about her."

"So you're doing this?"

"Well turns out I love you…"

"I love you too. But what about Aerith?"

"You say you love me then start talking about Aerith, you're a fickle kid." He sighed. "Like I said I still love her too, it's not like I can just hurt her… But I can't ignore this either." He kissed me softly.

"So what does that mean?"

"It means you're my mistress."

Great way of saying it. "Mistress? Does that mean I get to dress in leather and whip you so you'll do what I say?"

His eyes widened "I like that idea, kid!" I had to laugh at his face; his expressions are so cute.

"So we're kind-of-dating now?"

"Sort of."

"Kinda sorta?"

He buried his face in my hair. "Yup."

--

We've been together for a year.

A year, six months and 17 days, I marked the date and kept the calendar pinned to the wall.

I was always the one that was there, when his dad died, when his mom had her breakdown. What did I get?

Two notes.

One that was left on his bed:

_What is the price of freedom?_

And one that was just for me, under my sheets from when he'd come in through my window:

_You were the thing that made me hesitate. Only you could've kept me chained to Earth for so long. Live for me, because you're better at it._

I didn't find it for a month because I wouldn't let my mom wash the sheets, I just sat on my bed, smelling them and crying into them. I love him, I loved him, he left me.

At least one of us is free, but while you're up there flying around I'm picking up the pieces of everyone you left behind.

--

I was insanely depressed after seeing the CC death scene. Actually that whole game is pretty depressing. I still love it though.

Should I have put a lemon in this one?


End file.
